I’ve spent most of the last two years wandering, not even taking time to seek the answers I thought I sought.
But along the way, I’ve seen so many incredible things that have been placed before me from the female ichneumon wasp with a disc on her cerci and her body throbbing as she injected her eggs into an insect larvae on tree bark . . .
to a yellow-nosed wasp, so named by me for the pollen that was stuck to its antennae after it visited a helleborine flower . . .
to a dragonfly emerging from its exuviae . . .
to the folds of the earth at Pemaquid Point . . .
and Mount Chocorua . . .
to fall colors reflected on Holt Pond . . .
and throughout Raymond Community Forest.
The answers are wrapped up in the promise of blossoms to come . . .
and seeds on the fly.
It’s recognizing the swish of a porcupine’s trail in the snow . . .
or the realization that a track I’d never seen before was visible in our woods—that of the opossum.
And it’s all enveloped in the knowledge that mycelium cover the earth and through the process of decomposition break down most matter (all matter that matters, but not things we’ve created such as our ubiquitous plastic or even this computer).
It’s the realization that the Earth was formed eons ago and that the word eon refers to geologic time and that plates collided and continue to do so and pressures form and rocks develop. And plants like ferns . . .
and club mosses were once dominate species and as tall perhaps as our trees. It’s this and so much more.
And all of this brings me to faith. And I realize I do believe in a spiritual being. But my spiritual being is not imbedded solely in the Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It’s more than that. In all times, we’ve found people to emulate and follow. The Bible offers one such example and its writers were brilliant. For Jesus was a common person who came into this world in a way I’ve yet to understand. Was Mary really a virgin? Or was she a young woman free of sin? Or?
According to the stories, for that’s what they are, or perhaps they are tales, sagas, lore passed from one generation to the next until all was eventually jotted down and probably revised many times over and edited by publishers, Jesus was a carpenter. A common man. With wise thoughts and perceptions. I know many such people. And so, I think that the Bible offers an example or a way to live. And a way to think. And a way to behave. But, I don’t think it should be taken literally. I don’t know how the universe was created, but it’s too simple to merely state God created it in one day or even one week.
I also don’t understand those thin places where one can see both this side of life and the other side of heaven—if that’s what thin places means. But I do know that I’m intrigued by the concept. Maybe I’ve experienced such without the realization. And maybe I need to practice awareness and be more open to offerings.
I have discovered that heaven and hell remain the same, whether I walk through the red doors at the church entrance and partake in communion and fellowship or find my way along a wooded path where other revelations occur before my eyes. And so, after all these years, while I embrace a church service, I’ve learned to leave guilt behind on those Sundays I choose to worship outdoors rather than in.
In either case, I’ve so much more to learn. So many things not yet recognized; so many questions not yet formed.
And so today, I invite you to continue the journey with me—into this world of wonder. May the answers slowly reveal themselves, while the questions never end.